What Is Your Definition of Love?

We are all imprinted with different versions of what it means to love and be loved from the world around us.  When stress arises in any relationship, our definitions of love are tested.  If your definition of love is unchanging then the relationship stagnates or ends as the conditions for love are no longer met.  As relationships change over time the foundations of what it means for you to love will also need upgrading to continue to experience harmony in that relationship. 

Here are some of the more common beliefs around love and a question to put that definition to the test.  

Love is saving/helping others – Do you feel guilty putting your own needs first?

Love is pleasure – What are my external vices, and can I be happy without them?

Love is getting what you want – Am I aware of the effect I have on others in trying to satisfy my own needs?

Love is being taken care of – Have I lost self reliance/independence?

Love is getting attention – Do you compromise yourself to get others to notice you?

These are all facets of love and may be useful for a certain part of your journey, but none are likely to last as change is the nature of life.    

If you choose, the mindful practice here is to ask yourself:

What does it mean for mean to give and receive love to self and others?

The answers may not come right away.  There are many more definitions of love that have not been listed, you will have to watch your behaviour over time to see.

In the end, what it means to love is ever growing and ever changing according to what you need to bring harmony to self and others in the present moment.  When you have the flexibility of mind to embrace a new version of what it means to love, you have a powerful tool to build deeper and meaningful connections in any relationship.