We all get in our own way sometimes. The following are common ways of thinking that bring about self created barriers in life. See if you can identify which one fits you best and embrace the strategy given to overcome the internal block.
Doubts – A part of you does not feel safe moving forward so doubts arise as a self defense mechanism to try and protect you.
Mindful Fix: If your doubts are blocking you, ask yourself what am I trying to protect myself from? Once you understand what this is, you can build strategies around that issue to move forward in a safe and effective way.
Thoughts of The Future – If you are in a fearful state in the present moment, the mind will project and magnify thoughts into potential future worst case scenarios. Falling prey to your own imagined worst case scenario creates anxiety and stops you from proceeding along your life path. Whenever your mind is drifting to future potentials it is vital that your excitement in the present moment is greater than your fear. If not, it is best to take a step back.
The Mindful Fix: Take one step at a time and focus on what is right in front of you. Act on what is happening, not what may happen. To diffuse these thoughts, remember and notice how often these worst case scenarios never come true. Those thoughts become easier to detach from when you know they are never accurate.
Thoughts of the Past – Present moment experiences are based on past associations. The mind thinks because it happened before it will happen again. We see people for who they use to be, not who they are now. Without awareness of this a person will only get stuck in a repetitive loop of undesired outcomes.
Mindful Fix: Forgive and let go. Negative behaviour patterns only repeat when you are not conscious of them. Become aware of your habitual/triggered responses to situations or people and take a step back from that. This empowers you to take a different course of action and ensure past experiences don’t repeat. Changing your behaviour first gives others a chance to respond to you in a new way and opens new avenues in life that were not previously available.
Fantasy – Fantasies do not come from a healthy place. Reality can be tough to deal with and the mind copes by creating an unrealistic version of what life should be like. Buying into this idea creates more unhappiness as real life will never measure up. This creates a pattern of avoidance so the mind does not have to face what it needs to. It is difficult to move forward in life when you can’t accept what is.
The Mindful Fix: Find small moments of joy and be grateful for them. Ground yourself and get back in your body with movement. When you catch yourself in thoughts of fantasy it is best to label it as a flight of fancy. Don’t take it seriously and ask yourself what am I avoiding or what do I not want to face? This is the block that is necessary to overcome to move forward.
Judgements – When I started doing these posts the inner critic was oppressive. I had to tell that part of myself to F*** Off. Self judgement is reflective of lack of self love and self worth. If you let the inner critic take hold then you will not be able to move forward. You cannot experience what you believe you are not worthy of.
Mindful Fix – When you notice judgements coming from within, mentally stand your ground until they pass or offer yourself a prayer of loving kindness. Either must be with the same or more intensity than the judgements. Judgments from others are expressions of their own negativity, not yours. Love yourself more and accept love from others. Surround yourself with people who elevate you until you can do so on your own.
Expectations – a common mental block that is a form of rigid thinking that is tied to a persons self identity. When you are not flexible about who you think you are, the mind expects life to always work out in a certain way that feeds into that rigid sense of self. Unfortunately, this type of thinking blocks a person from seeing other paths that can produce results even better than expected.
Mindful Fix: Learn to trust. Practice surrender. Let go of control. Take small steps out of your comfort zone and try new things. Be flexible about who you are. Embrace change and allow life to bring you a surprise every once in a while.
Delusion – this is believing in a lie so much you confuse it for truth. It is very hard to move forward in life when your decisions are based on something that is not true. There will always be a barrier you won’t be able to overcome if you are not being honest with yourself.
Mindful Fix: This issue relates to being disconnected with your own inner compass. What works for someone else may not be helpful for you. Observe cause and effect of your actions to determine if underlying ideals are providing desired outcomes. Embrace the truth even if its uncomfortable and honest with yourself. Build inner stillness and get to know yourself. When you truly know yourself, it becomes easier to filter out lies from the external world so you can follow your own path.
Blame – Any time you point your finger at the government, corporations, your boss, your ex, family etc… as being the source of your issues, you are making others responsible for your well being. (and they won’t likely even know about it) Any time you blame yourself it is just a form of self punishment. Both keep you in a state of powerlessness.
Mindful Fix – Focusing the problem only magnifies it, look for solutions. Blame of others can be self destructive behaviours projected outward so take full ownership of your thoughts feeling and actions. Observe self sabotage and learn to overcome. Detach from what others do and give them freedom to act on their own choices. Let go of drama. When you step back from blame you can see opportunity where you previously could not. Follow that. You are more powerful than you realize
Follow me on instagram @davehurdle