Rather then see negative experiences as events to be avoided, it can help to see them as our teachers. The lessons we need to learn from such experiences corresponds to the resulting negative emotion that is arising from the event. Underneath every negative emotion there are untapped virtues that our emotions are trying to guide us towards through some hard life lessons. But the process does not have to be so difficult. If you can recognize what negative emotion you struggle with, then the virtue becomes the practice that moves you out of that negative state. The practice provides a way to transmute the negative emotion into a higher form of love so you can learn to embody that.
Guilt teaches us to practice honesty and integrity – Being truthful in the face of consequences when you have not knowingly done anything wrong is the way to living in integrity. If you make a mistake, own up to it and correct it if possible. When you live in honesty and integrity, there are no such thing as consequences, there are only lessons learned.
Shame teaches us to practice self acceptance and self worth – When you learn to embrace your flaws there no longer needs to be an external reason to attach your value to. Your true worth is infinite. Just because. Self love and knowing your worth are what will silence the inner critic.
Anger teaches us to practice kindness and compassion – Underneath anger there is a heart of gold waiting to help others. Its hard to get angry at others who genuinely need your help. If you can transmute anger into kindness, your capacity to make a difference in the lives of others will be incredible.
Anxiety teaches us to practice self confidence and courage – When you truly believe you can handle whatever comes your way, no imagined fearful outcome will ever have power over you. You can do whatever you set your mind to.
Depression teaches us to build inner strength and resilience – Depression is a special beast because it represents the total weight of all your negative emotions that burden you. To go to such levels of darkness and still carry on requires incredible strength. As you build inner resilience the burden eases and you will be able to see the light of hope once again. You have inner strength beyond measure.
Loneliness teaches us to practice humility and vulnerability – To truly connect with others you have to be willing to show all of you, not just the parts that you want others to see. Never hide who you are. Vulnerability and humility will open you to deeper connections then you thought possible.
Grief teaches us to practice gratitude and appreciation – If you are only able to see what you have lost you can never be grateful for what you have now. Learning to appreciate what is here and now will help you to realize there is still so much to live for.
Hurt teaches us to practice tolerance and forgiveness – Forgiveness of yourself and others is the only way to either stop the cycle of conflict or release pain. However uncomfortable it is, your capacity to love is immense.
At first this will be tough because the virtue is usually the what you will resist the most. Take it slow and steady at your level of comfort. Small steps taken over time can yield tremendous results. When you learn to see negative experiences as teachers of virtue then you provide the platform to live and be one step closer to who you really are.